Post unfinished videos and tests


Postby hazemabdulrab on 08/23/2008, 12:05 am

i got the tutorial of a 15 yr old from youtube,....didnt copy it ..but i learned hwo to make one

tell me wat u thnk and hwo i can make it better

please no negative comments that would make me feel bad about my work ..thanx :)

one more thing hwo do i post the vimeo video directly on here..i click vimeo on the top right and put the link then tried emmbed it
Posts: 176
Joined: 08/8/2008, 1:13 pm


Postby Hermes on 08/23/2008, 1:20 pm

First off to embed you need to type [vimeo*][*/vimeo] and remove the asterisks (the *'s). You probably tried to paste it in without adding the WWW which is required.

Okay, it's a good start. Now I know you said no negative comments but you also asked how you can make it better. Unless it was perfect, I cannot do both. With that said I like the style. It's a cool effect. Somethings you may want to do to clean it up some.

First. Fix up your mask around the character. There is a lot of extra stuff around his hands, gun, and shoulder especially. If you can clean it up it will look much better.
Second. I like how you make the character grayscale but the gray on the gray gradient with black and white writing is a little gray. Try a white or black background with a slight gradient or a subtle color shift instead. You may also want to make the gradient a vignette (
Third. The typography needs some work. Lessen the stroke around your text as it has begun to obscure your font. I'm not sure what kind of feeling you are going for but that font is kind of boring. Try something that is sans-serif ( and it will look a lot cleaner. Additionally has some awesome fonts for free. You may also want to left justify the font instead of centering it. This will leave space for the hand and gun to slide into the text carrying the viewers eye across the frame while preserving the safe area ( - however the safe area won't matter if this will only be seen on the internet.
Fourth. I like the bullet holes but they are too repetitive. Try using some different ones from the pack and rotating them around so they don't all look cloned. Sparks and smoke would also add a lot. You may also want to vary their position so that there isn't so much blank space at the top of the frame.

Hope this has been helpful. Once again, good start. Just needs a little more to make it great!

One last thing, I'm curious how old you are. I am 18 and always like to see other young filmmakers around these forums!

Last edited by Hermes on 08/23/2008, 6:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Location: Athens, Georgia, USA


Postby hazemabdulrab on 08/23/2008, 5:40 pm

im 19 at first when i was reading ur post i thought this guy is probably a pro and he must be like 35 but at the end when i read ur 18 i was surprised....thanx alot for the commment and help...ill try wat u said ,..thanx :)
Posts: 176
Joined: 08/8/2008, 1:13 pm

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